But first, who is she, really?
The Definition of the Beta Female
In the hierarchy of social archetypes, the beta female comes in second to the leader alpha. While the alpha rules the hierarchy as a leader and magnetic presence, the beta female is considered next in line in the social structure but is often discounted in the presence of the alpha. Let’s take a look at the key traits of the beta female.
17 Traits of a Beta Female
1. She’s the Sidekick to the Alpha
She’s the sidekick or gal pal to the leader of the pack. In a romcom, she’s the best friend dispensing snarky remarks interspersed with wisdom. She’s the leader’s go-to friend, but because the alpha shines so bright, the beta female is used to being ignored or dismissed. While she may experience the occasional jolt of alpha-envy, most betas really enjoy their role and wouldn’t trade it for anything.
2. She Has a Strong Work Ethic
The beta female is known for being a hard worker. Her work ethic is admirable, and she’s never one to shirk her responsibilities. This trait is clear to see as the beta female often excels in her studies and in the workplace. She’s no stranger to rolling up her sleeves and getting to work in relationships either. She believes that good things take time, patience, and effort, and she’s willing to do what it takes to make her life what she wants.
3. She Gives Great Advice
A key trait of the beta female is that she’s the go-to woman for advice in any friend group. She’s wise beyond her years and gives great advice. Because she’s considered a wallflower, she often has a chance to sit back and observe the dynamics. She sees more than you think, so if she recommends that you dump the guy you think is cheating on you, you should probably take that advice and thank her later. Recommended read: 25 Traits of a Sigma Female
4. She Follows Rather Than Leads
The beta female doesn’t have any desire to take on leadership roles. With her dedicated work ethic, she might even be good at them, but she’s just not interested. Plus, she knows she doesn’t bring the exciting charisma to the role that someone who actually likes to lead would do. She just wants to do her own part and not be responsible for everyone else’s. The beta female is a follower, and while many people act like that’s a bad thing, she understands that not everyone can take a leadership role.
5. She’s an Excellent Mediator
If you’re having a problem, the beta female is an excellent mediator. Her role as quiet observer often makes her a peacekeeper, too. She knows how to diffuse conflict and how to stay calm under pressure. She can even speak up and help anyone in conflict better see the other person’s point of view. Her natural compassion and her observer status can help illuminate the real reason for discord and help bridge it.
6. She’s a Natural Caregiver
You might have noticed that the beta female in your life is a natural caregiver. She might bring you soup when you’re sick or ask after the kitten you mentioned wasn’t feeling her best. She remembers the little things, and she’s always trying to make life just a little bit easier for those around her. The beta female is used to being there for the alpha, but she’s like that for everyone in her life.
7. She’s a Loyal Friend and Girlfriend
Don’t dismiss the merits of the beta female. She’s often the most loyal friend or girlfriend you can have. She isn’t going to try to lead — in dance or in life. She’s happy to follow your lead and enthusiastically support your success. The beta female is the typical “ride or die” except she’s likely to bring snacks and help you plan a version of the trip that doesn’t include death.
8. She’s Often Highly Sensitive or Empathic
The beta female is often either highly sensitive or empathic. She’s naturally sensitive to others and can read a room better than anyone. Her senses are attuned not just to what is being said but what isn’t. It may seem like she’s a mind reader, but she’s just very good at reading people and intuiting their emotions. This gift comes naturally to her, and it may be one of the reasons she doesn’t seek out the limelight.
9. She Tends to Be Introverted
The beta female can be extroverted, but many times she is introverted, shy, or reserved. She likes her own company and doesn’t need to be entertained. While she’s happy enough hanging out with her bestie, the alpha, or other friends, she’s equally happy doing her own thing. Recommended read: 5 Signs You Are Actually an Ambivert
10. She’s Passionate About Making the World a Better Place
Don’t think the beta female isn’t passionate. She’s passionately loyal, devoted to friends and family, and she’s all-in when it comes to making the world a better place. You’ll notice that the beta female often has a particular cause (or two) that she champions. She tends to have a service mentality and is happy to donate her time, money, or abilities to help out a cause she believes in.
11. She’s Known for Intelligence
The beta female is often known for being intelligent. It’s more than just wisdom in advice and street smarts. She’s likely book smart, too. Some beta females will even have a razor-sharp wit they’ll unleash to amuse the alpha. Never underestimate her because the beta woman is one who fits the profile of “still waters run deep”.
12. She Prefers Being Behind the Scenes
The beta female loves her behind the scenes role. She knows that it’s not a coveted position like the alpha. She’s okay with that. She’s comfortable with who she is and the role she plays. She wasn’t relegated to it. She chose it. And she knows there’s more than one way to shine, and she’s found a place that feels like home to her.
13. She Prefers Others to Make the First Move
A key trait of the beta female is that she prefers other people to make the first move. If you’re interested in her, you might have to initiate the conversation, ask for her number, and ask her out. It’s not that she can’t do any of those things; she just really prefers it when others take the lead. Instead of asking her where she’d like to go on a date, suggest something instead. You can give her options, but she’ll love it if you take the initiative to suggest a plan. Recommended read: 16 Traits of a Beta Male
14. She’s a Hopeless Romantic
The beta female has stars in her eyes. Sure, she knows she’ll never see herself as the lead in any romcom, but she’s a hopeless romantic at heart. She wants to see the alpha swept off her feet, and she’s always hoping that someone across the room will meet her eyes instead of automatically zooming in on her bestie. In relationships, she’s the girl who will melt when you bring her flowers or a small gift for no reason other than you were just thinking about her.
15. She Enjoys Committed Relationships
The beta female might be able to handle casual relationships, but she prefers something committed. She’s so loyal that she doesn’t likely enjoy juggling multiple dating options when she can settle down and support one. She likes the comfort and security of a relationship, but she’s not one to settle for any less than she deserves as long as her self-esteem is on point.
16. She’s Often Spiritual and Has a Highly Attuned Moral Compass
The beta female is the bestie you call when you need to hide a body. She’ll do it, but she’s likely going to talk about your anger management issues while she’s passing you the shovel. The beta female tends toward spirituality or at least a highly attuned moral compass. She’s a big fan of doing what’s right even if no one is doing it. In fact, it’s often one of the only times she’ll stand out from the crowd. It’s also what makes her great at advice and mediating.
17. She’s Quietly Confident
Some beta females might lack confidence, but many of them are simply quietly confident and don’t desire or need outside validation. It’s a beautiful quality. While the alpha and other personality archetypes have their own strengths, the beta females power lies in her quiet self-assurance and comfort with her role. She’s not the second-in-command playing a coup so she can take over. That’s not a beta mindset. She’s the second to the alpha and happy to be there. She knows who she is, and she isn’t attention-seeking to validate her identity. She just doesn’t require it.
The Truth About the Beta Female
People often dismiss the beta female or rank her as less important than the alpha. Yet, she plays a valuable role in our lives. She might be cast as the side character in your story, but she’s certainly the main character in her own with her own strengths and struggles. Underestimate her at your peril. She might be loyal for life, but she’s also pretty good at reading people and will know if you’re discounting her. She doesn’t need that kind of energy in her life. Show your appreciation for the beta females around you. They’re the ones who’ve been lifting us up. It’s time to let them know how much we appreciate them. Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash
