Rules For Intimacy With A Baby In The Same Room
It is possible to get intimate with a baby in the same room. But there are some factors that you have to take into account to make the experience worthwhile. Don’t hurry into things, take it slow and things will fall into place. You will have a great sex life once again.
1. Be patient
The woman’s body and internal organs are still raw post-childbirth. This is true not just in the case of vaginal delivery but also when childbirth has happened after a C section. It takes anywhere between six to eight weeks for the woman’s body to recover. Give her that much time; she deserves it. After the stipulated six to eight weeks, start off slowly. Start cuddling, hugging, feeling and then move on to the intercourse.
2. Safety first
Once the body has healed and you are ready to get all frisky and physical remember to give importance to safety first. Here we are talking about the child’s safety. Make sure the baby is well-fed and fast asleep before you start your act. This is true for children between age 0 to 8 months. So, enjoy all the together time you can get during this period because once the child crosses the eight-month milestone, the challenges are far more.
3. Be discreet
Once your child is eight months and more, the child is more aware of what’s happening and more alert. Try and be discreet when you get physical with your partner now. Your child is observing, is watching and is also playful. With a baby in your room, you can have sex but you have to know a few things. Sometimes the child who is fast asleep might wake up due to a bad dream and when he/she sees what mom and dad are doing; the child is traumatized. For one, the child thinks dad is hurting mom, or that mom is dying and dad is killing her, or might even question why mom and dad are naked. In worst-case scenarios, as a Child Psychologist, I have had cases of children reenacting what they saw either with their dolls or with their friends.
4. Mind your language
Some play rough during the sexual act. It adds aggression to sex and sometimes adds as an arousing agent. However, do note that if your child could hear all your ‘Garbha Sanskara, Beethoven or Soulful’ tunes when he/she was in your womb, then he/she can definitely hear all the cuss words while sleeping next to you or in the same room as you while you have intercourse. So either be very silent or don’t use cuss words at all.
5. Elephant in the room
Be honest, no matter how much you long to get back together or how strong your sexual urge; your mind will be on your child all through the act. A baby in your room allows intimacy but you tend to stay preoccupied. Would you be able to enjoy making love while thinking about your child all the time? So, free your mind completely and get into the act only when you are ready to commit wholeheartedly. Ironically, India is known for its population and the surplus and yet in our country, we don’t discuss our needs or understand a young couple’s needs openly with family. We do not have a support system that could take the child off our hands for one night or for some private time. Yes, we have a support system; but not for this!! Sex has to be spontaneous; sex has to be pure, sex has to be intuitive and sex has to be fun. Enjoy sex, relish your lovemaking; but do so with an understanding of your child’s presence, sleep patterns and age before you indulge. Happy Love Making!
